I talk a lot about how much I like Halloween in this column, but I rarely say much about how special Christmas is to me. There are a few reasons for that. First of all, the holiday season is about more than one holiday, and although Christmas is the one my family celebrates, I do want to be mindful that this might not be the case for everyone and try to make my column about events that all people can enjoy together. This can be a little tough to do since the overwhelming majority of things happening in our area really are Christmas themed and when there aren’t very many Hanukkah or Kwanzaa events going on, you can’t really balance them out by making sure to highlight each one. So, I gravitate more toward events that just refer to themselves as holiday events.
But there are some of the bigger things happening around town that need to be covered, like the Olde Golden Christmas, that need to be covered. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to cancel Christmas or something silly like that, I just don’t want to add to the feeling of being somewhat left out by tossing my musings about the day onto an already unbalanced scale.
The other reason I don’t say much about my personal experiences with Christmas is because although I have an overabundant number of happy memories to share, there are also some really sad ones too. A lot of those have to do with my parents and their final days. First of all, there was my mother, Dorothy Akal. If you have been a long-time reader of the Golden Transcript, you will remember that she wrote this column for many years before I took it over. She passed away back in 2012 at the age of 89. Now, losing a parent is hard for everyone, but in her case, that entirely changed how my family celebrated Christmas. You see, her birthday was on Christmas Day. Up until she passed, we would always celebrate Christmas on Christmas Eve and then reserved Christmas Day for when we would celebrate her birthday. So, Christmas Day has a double meaning for me. It’s a combination of all the great memories combined with a bit of a sense of loss that everyone feels at this time of year when we think of our dearly departed. I have a lot of great memories of her. That’s not really what bothers me too much.
What makes it extra hard for me to talk about is my dad, Carl Akal. While my mom was truly a ray of sunshine in everyone’s lives, my father, on the other hand, was not. With him, every holiday was an episode. He had a slew of mental issues that went untreated for years. He was a bipolar narcissistic stick of dynamite just waiting to explode. I could write an entire book detailing all of his personality traits and the major problems they caused for everyone that came into contact with him. By the time he passed away, we couldn’t even have a real funeral for him because he had no friends or family members besides myself that would have shown up to say goodbye. Not a single one.
Although my parents were divorced for years, he was still my dad and we always tried our best to include him in our family festivities and just braced ourselves for when things would get out of whack. We would do our best to keep him in a happy mood, but that got to be an impossible thing to do in his final years when dementia started to compound his behavior. An example of that was one year when we went to the Denver Parade of Lights and I ran into the coffee shop to get us some hot chocolate. I came out with a tray of drinks in my hands only to find some huge guy holding him by the coat and threatening to beat him to a pulp for grabbing and shaking one of his kids just because he was running around, like kids do, on the sidewalk in front of him. My dad erupted over that little thing.
I’m telling you all this because I want you to know I understand that for some people, Christmas is not a happy time of year. There can be a lot of stress. Family issues, financial issues or just being alone with no place to go and no one to celebrate with. So, just stop and take a breath. Let me tell you about my two friends Mark and Rob who will be doing something special for Christmas. No matter who you are or what your circumstances are, you are invited.
They own Dirty Dogs Roadhouse here in Golden and on Christmas Day, starting at 2 p.m., they are hosting a free pot-luck dinner at the bar. They will provide the ham, turkey, potatoes and rolls and you can bring your favorite side or dessert to share. Everyone is welcome and if you don’t have anyone here to celebrate with, you will once you arrive. It’s always a super friendly, fun group of people there and it’s a place you can make new friends for life.
Dirty Dogs Roadhouse is located at 17999 W. Colfax Ave. here in Golden. You don’t need a reservation, you don’t need to call them and you don’t need to go check out their website. Just show up with a smile and say hello.
Mark and Rob may look like a couple of rough biker dudes, but they both have huge hearts. Thanks, you guys!
John Akal is a well-known jazz artist/drummer and leader of the 20-piece Ultraphonic Jazz Orchestra. He also is president of John Akal Imaging, professional commercial photography and multimedia production. He can be reached at jaimaging@aol.com.
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